Parent Trap (Warlock Style)
by RedPerception
Summary: Everyone can see the relationship between the Dowling's Nanny and Gardner, even if they can't see it themselves. So a young Warlock takes matters into his own hands. I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

**Here is a short little introductory chapter, just like the other two stories I have going, I won't be updating as often as I'd like to due to work. However I'm going with the philosophy that short chapters more often is better than long chapters once a month. Please review you know I love it. Of course I own nothing. **

Warlock couldn't remember a time when Nanny Astaroth wasn't there. She took care of him, perhaps more so than anyone else in his home. Today he was playing in the garden while Nanny sat under an umbrella on the patio.

His fifth birthday was tomorrow and he would have to dress nice and smile for his parents and their friends. He had begged and begged his parents to have his friends from daycare come. He took Nanny's advice and begged and pleaded and when that didn't work he stomped his feet and threw anything he could get his little hands on, next came holding his breath, then refusing to eat. But all it did was make his parents mad. Nanny had been there to comfort him in the end.

It was Nanny's idea to play outside today, to feed the pigeons and then chase them off, to jump in mud puddles, and run through the flower beds. He felt a little guilty about the last one. He really liked Brother Francis, but he had never actually seen Brother Francis working in this garden so he figured it must be okay. He was to busy chasing birds to notice Nanny and Brother Francis.

"Is it really necessary for him to run through the flowers?" The Gardner sat beside the Nanny.

"Well it's not like you actually tend to them. You'll have them as good as new before his parents even notice." The Nanny risked a sideways glance at the Gardner, if she really looked she could see the angel underneath, but he really looked truly ridiculous. "You could at least talk to them every once in a while."

"Talk to them? Since when do you know anything about plants or children for that matter?" The Gardner none to subtly studied the Nanny, who was both terrifying and attractive, much like the demon underneath. However her current appearance was not what was bothering the angel. It was the fact that on multiple occasions he had watched the demon be a proper nanny, comforting the crying boy, bandaging cuts and scrapes, rocking him to sleep on his deck at night. Being almost motherly, he had known this being for almost 6,00 years and had never suspected him capable.

"Call it motherly instinct." The Nanny smirked.

"Well we both know that's not true." The Gardner sighed.

"At least talk to the plants." The Nanny got up, "Come along young Warlock time to get you cleaned up. I'm sure Brother Francis will want to tend to those plants."


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is chapter 2 for you lovely people, sorry it took me so long. I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please be kind and leave a review. Of course I own nothing. **

_A couple months later. _

The Nanny was reading a book in her room when she felt it, this was the third night in a row. She tucked the book away where a wandering gardner would never know the truth and put her sunglasses on to walk down the hall.

"Same one as last night?" The nanny lifted the five year old Warlock into her arms. The boy only nodded, tears streaming down her face. "That's alright sweetie. I'm here now. Nothing can get you as long as I'm around."

Nanny moved to the rocking chair and stroked the boys hair. If the demons saw this there would be no ending to the taunting, but the boy needed someone to care for him, it wasn't Warlock's fault the only one there for him was a demon.

"Nanny do you have bad dreams?" The boy questioned between tears.

"Of course dear." She brushed away the tears.

"What do you do?" He looked into his Nanny's sunglasses, Warlock had stopped wondering about them a long time ago they were just part of his nanny.

"Well most recommend talking to someone you trust."

"Like me telling you." Warlock gave a small smile that was quickly returned by his nanny. "I trust you."

"I know child, and you have no idea how happy that makes me feel." Nanny rubbed small circles on the boys back.

"What do you do when you're scared?" WArlock wondered, if it was anyone else she would have denied that she ever felt fear, but that's not what Warlock needed.

"I suppose I find a friend who can distract me from the things I don't like." Nanny answered honestly, leaving out the heavy amount of alcohol usually involved.

"A friend like Brother Francis?" The boy was full of questions tonight.

"Why would you think he's my friend?" The Nanny frowned.

"He's the only person you talk to." Warlock shrugged.

"Well that's not true at all. I talk to cook and housekeeper everyday."

"But that's different, that's to tell them what I want to eat or to clean up something. When we're outside you talk to Brother Francis about his day, you help him with the flowers and he gives you suggestions for my lunch."

"I talk to you." Nanny smirked.

"You have to talk to me, it's your job." Warlock giggled.

"A job I quite enjoy." She tickled her young charge. "Are you ready to go back to bed?"

"Yes Nanny." He sighed letting one last giggle escape his lips from the tickles. She effortlessly carried the child back to his bed and tucked him in with his favorite stuffed toy. "You didn't answer me?" He yawned.

"And what was the question darling?"

"Is Brother Francis your friend?"

"Dear boy that is a difficult question." Nanny frowned. "But I do believe he is, however, that is our little secret."

"Yes Nanny."

Back in her bedroom she threw her sunglasses on the nightstand and ran her hands through her hair. Perhaps the nanny and the gardner have been spending to much time together.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is chapter 3 for you lovely people, sorry it's so short. I hope you enjoy it, please leave a review. Of course I own nothing. **

At first Warlock was confused, his Nanny had more or less avoid the garden for the past couple months. Then he noticed something else, how disappointed Brother Francis was every time Nanny chose to stay inside and watch through the window. Warlock knew now Nanny Ash was avoiding the Gardner perhaps startled by Warlocks knowledge that they were friends. The young boy couldn't understand why them being friends was a bad thing, and he didn't like how distant they had both started to become it was almost getting as bad as his own parents. He needed to fix it because apparently the grown ups weren't going to.

"I'm sorry Brother Francis." Warlock sighed one day while he was helping plant flowers.

"Whatever for young man." The Gardner frowned.

"It's my fault Nanny doesn't talk to you any more. I think I scared her."

"Oh that seems rather unlikely Master Warlock, you'd be surprised by what your Nanny can handle, she's seen more than her fair share." Brother Francis chuckled, "I'm sure whatever you think you did can be remedied by a heartfelt apology."

"I don't think so." The boy shook his head. "I asked her if you and she were friends."

"Oh, well I can assure you we are not. Couldn't be more opposite really."

"She said you were her friend." The boy frowned, "but then she stopped talking to you."

"Ahhh...well you see… Your Nanny said I was her friend?" The Gardner frowned and the boy nodded. "Well I suppose we are officially civil for individuals of our nature, and I can't imagine those at our headquarters are very friendly. I believe I can see why she might think we were friends."

"But you're not friends?" It was Warlocks turn to frown.

"Not friends." Brother Francis gave a rather uncertain nod.

"Then why have you been so sad lately since she hasn't been coming outside?"

"I suppose I rather enjoy are conversations."

"That sounds like friends to me."

"Come along Warlock time for lunch." His Nanny called from the patio. The five almost six year old was quite proud of himself. Maybe Brother Francis could fix it now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here is chapter 4 for all you lovely people. I hope you enjoy it, please leave reviews. I own nothing. **

After another month of nothing happening between his two favorite adults Warlock knew he had to step things up a notch.

And that was how he found himself plummeting from an apple tree in the garden screaming for his Nanny. Who was by his side quicker than should be capable for a lady in a skirt and heels.

"Come here child let me see it." She scooped him into her arms and examined his wrist. "Does it hurt dear?" The boy nodded holding back tears. "I'm afraid it's broken young man. What were you doing in that tree to begin with?"

"Well Brother Francis told me not to climb trees, but you told me not to listen to Brother Francis so I climbed the tree to get an apple then slipped cause I couldn't reach it." The boy explained letting a couple tears sneak through. It wasn't a total lie, most of it was true, Brother Francis did tell him not to climb trees, and Nanny Ash did tell him not to listen to Brother Francis. He just let go of the tree branch instead of slipping, he was actually quite good at climbing trees.

"How about I get you that apple then. I would hate for all your hard work to go to waste." She reached up to the lowest branch and plucked an apple that hadn't quite been ripe before she touched it.

"Oh goodness what happened here?" Brother Francis found his way to the scene of the crime. Warlock turned into his Nanny's jacket to hide his smile.

"Young Warlock broke his wrist while you were supposed to be watching him." Nanny hissed at the Gardner.

"Well let me see that I'm sure we can…"

"Absolutely not." Nanny scolded. "That is not something that would go unnoticed. He needs to be taken care of the normal way."

"Of course, you're absolutely correct My Dear. Warlock young lad what were you doing that you hurt yourself?" Brother Francis turned to the boy.

"I wanted an apple." Warlock showed him the one Nanny had got him. Maybe it was just his imagination but he swore Brother Francis went white as a ghost.

"An apple." The Gardner turned to the Nanny.

"Oh don't look at me like that, for once can an apple just be an apple." Nanny sighed brushing Warlocks hair aside and readjusting him in her arms so she could support his wrist better.

"With you, No." Warlock had never seen Brother Francis look so mad, maybe his plan was backfiring.

"Warlock needs to get to the hospital. If you want to accuse me of every apple related misfortune in all of human history you can do it when we return." Nanny turned letting her hair flip behind her as she moved to the Dowling garage. Of course his parents were out of town this week.

"You are not going anywhere without me. Not after this." Brother Francis trailed after them.

After another month of nothing happening between his two favorite adults Warlock knew he had to step things up a notch.

And that was how he found himself plummeting from an apple tree in the garden screaming for his Nanny. Who was by his side quicker than should be capable for a lady in a skirt and heels.

"Come here child let me see it." She scooped him into her arms and examined his wrist. "Does it hurt dear?" The boy nodded holding back tears. "I'm afraid it's broken young man. What were you doing in that tree to begin with?"

"Well Brother Francis told me not to climb trees, but you told me not to listen to Brother Francis so I climbed the tree to get an apple then slipped cause I couldn't reach it." The boy explained letting a couple tears sneak through. It wasn't a total lie, most of it was true, Brother Francis did tell him not to climb trees, and Nanny Ash did tell him not to listen to Brother Francis. He just let go of the tree branch instead of slipping, he was actually quite good at climbing trees.

"How about I get you that apple then. I would hate for all your hard work to go to waste." She reached up to the lowest branch and plucked an apple that hadn't quite been ripe before she touched it.

"Oh goodness what happened here?" Brother Francis found his way to the scene of the crime. Warlock turned into his Nanny's jacket to hide his smile.

"Young Warlock broke his wrist while you were supposed to be watching him." Nanny hissed at the Gardner.

"Well let me see that I'm sure we can…"

"Absolutely not." Nanny scolded. "That is not something that would go unnoticed. He needs to be taken care of the normal way."

"Of course, you're absolutely correct My Dear. Warlock young lad what were you doing that you hurt yourself?" Brother Francis turned to the boy.

"I wanted an apple." Warlock showed him the one Nanny had got him. Maybe it was just his imagination but he swore Brother Francis went white as a ghost.

"An apple." The Gardner turned to the Nanny.

"Oh don't look at me like that, for once can an apple just be an apple." Nanny sighed brushing Warlocks hair aside and readjusting him in her arms so she could support his wrist better.

"With you, No." Warlock had never seen Brother Francis look so mad, maybe his plan was backfiring.

"Warlock needs to get to the hospital. If you want to accuse me of every apple related misfortune in all of human history you can do it when we return." Nanny turned letting her hair flip behind her as she moved to the Dowling garage. Of course his parents were out of town this week.

"You are not going anywhere without me. Not after this." Brother Francis trailed after them.

"You're ridiculous you know that. Absolutely ridiculous." Nanny called over her shoulder. The bickering continued the entire drive to the hospital. Warlock didn't understand any of it, but at least they were talking again.

"You're ridiculous you know that. Absolutely ridiculous." Nanny called over her shoulder. The bickering continued the entire drive to the hospital. Warlock didn't understand any of it, but at least they were talking again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Here is the next chapter for you, it's pretty short, but it's been a busy week so hopefully I'll have a longer chapter for you soon. Please let me know what you think, leave a review for me. I own nothing.**

The bickering continued in the waiting room while the doctors tended to Warlock.

"I'm not discussing this with you." Nanny moved to pace the waiting room.

"I just don't understand how you…"

"How I could what Angel?" She turned to him on a dime, causing the angel to stutter. "That's what I thought."

"An apple though, what were you thinking, I mean really dear."

"Not every apple related misfortune is my fault. I didn't tell him to climb the tree." Nanny was back to pacing.

"Of course you didn't, I'm sure you told him it was just an apple, no harm in eating it. As usual ignoring potential consequences." Brother Francis lectured from his plastic chair.

"No. You don't get to lecture me. Not this time, where were you? Why was a six year old alone in your garden? You get forty-five minutes to teach your Holy goodness or whatever it is in a day and you leave him alone. You can't just let a kid run around unsupervised!" The demon snapped, "This time you can't blame the big bad demon this time. It was your responsibility to be watching him." The angel was saved from a response by Warlocks appearance. "Come here young man let me be the first to sign that neon monstrosity." Nanny pulled a marker from her handbag. Warlock grinned holding out his arm for his Nanny and then moving on to the gardner. "Oh no child, Brother Francis doesn't deserve that high honor. How about some ice cream?" She led the boy to the Bently letting the angel follow behind and just observe.

He hadn't expected that reaction from the demon. He had always known that Crowley had a soft spot for children, and had teased about maternal instinct. This however, this was real and the angel was determined to learn from the demon's relationship with this child. He was just going to watch this afternoon.

"You know I heard somewhere that ice cream heals everything." Nanny led the boy to a park bench with his ice cream cone, leaving Brother Francis to pay.

"Really!" The child lit up.

"I have absolutely no idea, but it does sound wonderful doesn't it." The demon chuckled. The angel continued to observe, and the minor healing miracle the demon sent Warlocks way didn't go without notice. And if he knew anything about the demon he knew that the young antichrist would be eating a lot more ice cream over the next couple weeks and receiving quite a few small miracles to ease the pain and quicken the healing process.


	6. Chapter 6

**Here is chapter 6 for you lovely folks, sorry for making you wait so long, it's been a crazy and busy past couple weeks. But I have a new chapter for you so I hope you enjoy it. Please leave a review. As always I own nothing. **

Warlock was worried his plan had failed, Brother Francis hadn't said a word since they left the hospital, he just followed them around. Maybe he did the wrong thing. Nanny seemed really mad at the gardner, she wouldn't even let him sign his cast. He worried about it the rest of the day, at least until he was laying in bed.

Nanny had just finished tucking him in and reading him his bedtime story. She had left the room and he was just on the edge of sleep when he heard a familiar voice in the hallway. I voice he wasn't sure he had ever actually heard in the house before.

"My dear, I fear I owe you an apology."

Out in the hall an angel was standing on the steps while a demon closed the bedroom door of a small child. The demon had only just noticed the angel and frowned, ignoring him to head to her bedroom for the evening.

"My dear, I fear I owe you an apology." Aziraphale confessed. "I worry that I over reacted when I saw that particular fruit and an unknowing human."

"Oh for someone's sake. Not in the middle of the hallway." Crowley sighed and pulled the angel to her bedroom.

"Of course." He just followed along dutifully. "I really would like to apologize though."

"Yea okay apology accepted." The demon shrugged off her petticoat, "Now I know you don't sleep, but I do and it has been a very long day."

"I really mean it dear. I should have been watching young master Warlock, I had only left him for a second to retrieve a shovel for him."

"Doesn't matter, he's fine, he'll have a great story to tell his friend at school." She was trying to dismiss him.

"It does matter, it matters quite a bit. You care about the child. I can feel it. I wanted to make sure you know that I would never purposely let harm come to the boy." Aziraphale tried.

"He's the bloody frickin antichrist, why do I care if harm comes to him. Heaven if he had broken his neck today it would have saved us a lot of trouble now wouldn't it."

"You don't mean that." The angel frowned.

"Don't I?" The demon turned, glaring with yellow slitted eyes, glasses having been set on the nightstand in preparation for sleep. "I'm a demon."

"Right yes, but you are rather good with the child, the unknowing eye might think that you actually love him." Aziraphale didn't waver at the sight of his best friends eyes, he had always enjoyed them anyway, one of a kind, just like the demon.

"Then it's a good thing you're not one of those unknowing eyes then isn't angel."

"I suppose it is," The blond being nodded, "However, I do think it would be quite acceptable if you had grown somewhat attached to the young boy, you are with him very often. Perhaps more so than anyone else. At the hospital I almost felt a matern…."

"Don't even think about saying it." Crowley spat.

"Of course not, I'm just pointing out what humans might see when they look at the two of you." Aziraphale backed off. "I truly just wanted to come up here to apologize, and make sure we were still okay, I would hate for this to put a damper on our frie… Arrangement."

"Apology forgiven, Arrangement in tack." The demon shrugged, going back to undressing and preparing for an unneed sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Here is a new chapter for you, I will warn you, there is only going to be one more chapter after this. So I hope you enjoy it. Please review I love your comments, I own nothing. **

Warlock knew he was on the right track when the next day Nanny followed him out to the garden. She hadn't let him out of her sight and now if he was near Brother Francis, she would be right behind them. He had convinced her a picnic in the garden was a good idea. Warlock had gone off to play a little ways off after talking to Brother Francic and inviting him to their picnic.

"Nanny Astaroth." The gardner nodded as he took a seat on the blanket.

"You know Angel, I've been thinking." Nanny continued to unpack the food from the basket.

"What about my dear?"

"I think we're being played." The demon glanced up at her oldest companion.

"How so?" The angel frowned.

"I believe young Warlock is intent on setting us up."

"Well that's just ridiculous, what would make you think that?" Brother Francis settled into helping the demon unpack the picnic basket.

"Is that flower in your hand for me Brother Francis?" The demon chuckled at the rose in the Gardners left hand.

"I… well yes actually Master Warlock thought you might like it and thought I should give it to you." The Angels eyes widened.

"And the boy thought you might like the leftovers from dinner last evening." Nanny pulled out a container significantly different than the rest of the lunch.

"Why would Warlock want to set us up as it were?"

"Well if I had to guess it has something to do with someone saying we weren't friends and him deciding that wasn't right." The demon sighed, "Other than that, he's a bored six year old Antichrist who watched the Parent Trap for the first time a couple months ago."

"The Parent Trap?" Francis frowned.

"A movie made in the 1960 and then remade in the 1990s about twins split up at birth who switch places to set up their divorced parents." Nanny Ash tried to explain.

"How is that anything like out situation?"

"Nevermind Angel, don't worry about it."

"So what do we do? How do we tell him that we are not intending on being a couple?" The angel worried.

"Why do we have to tell him? Do you really want to piss off the Antichrist?"

"Well then what do you purpose my dear?"

"We let him think that he's won, hold hands when we're together, little things to convince a six year old that we're together." Nanny Ash suggested. "It's only for five years at the most, no time at all really. Then if we do our jobs right the world won't end and we can leave him in peace back to our normal routine. If we fail the world's over and it doesn't matter anyway."

"Hold hands you say?" Brother Francis thought on it for a moment. "I suppose we could handle that."

"Yea don't get your hopes up, I'm not kissing you looking like that, and I'm definitely not letting those teeth anywhere near my… "

"Don't finish that sentence dear." The Francis tutted, before placing the rose behind the demons ear and setting his hand on top of the demons.

Warlock watched his guardians from a little ways away. He couldn't hear what they were saying but there was plenty of smiles and then he couldn't believe his eyes when Brother Francis reached out for his Nanny's hand.


	8. Epilogue

**This is a bit of an epilogue to the story. I didn't quite know how I wanted to finish it and ultimately this is what I came up with. I may add more in the end I suppose that depends on how long the stay home last and whether or not I can come up with something. Enjoy. I own nothing. **

The world didn't end. They had spent the past five years taking care of the wrong boy, holding hands and being almost flirtatious for the wrong boy. After the world didn't end they found themselves sitting on a bus holding hands, neither said anything. After they survived their respective head offices they sat at the Ritz hand in hand and neither said anything. It had become part of their routine and neither were quite ready to let it go so they didn't draw attention to it.

They left the Ritz and walked to the bookshop hand in hand, "Are we doing this Angel?" The demon held the door for his partner without letting go of his hand.

"Do what my dear?"

"This." Crowley held up their still joined hands.

"Oh well yes, yes I suppose we are." Aziraphale smiled and his other half, "It does feel natural doesn't it."

"It does." Crowley snapped the door closed and locked behind them, "And maybe, just maybe when you're ready you could kiss me, you know looking like you do, and those teeth are definitely allowed to…"

Once again Crowley didn't get to finish his sentence, but this time it was because an adorably soft angel was kissing him.

"I don't move to fast?" Crowley frowned when they separated.

"After 6,000 years I think I've finally caught up darling." Aziraphale kissed the demon once more, and they would continue to do so for most of the night, sharing kisses over several bottles of wines. It would take several more months before Aziraphales mouth explored any other parts of Crowley's body, but not everything can happen all at once after all.


End file.
